dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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