sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
