dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
How naked do you want me to be?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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