did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I am available for nakedness
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
