he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
