she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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