Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
