her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
