I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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