well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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