We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She told me I should be a condom model.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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