i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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