oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
