You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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