Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
