I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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