At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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