sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
