You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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