i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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