i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
