I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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