I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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