Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
