So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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