Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
