How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
