The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
