hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
