you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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