i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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