Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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