I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
