just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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