I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
