They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
do nipples grow back?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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