I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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