nut hugger
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
