Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
