I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
