Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
