ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize