id be glad to
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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