apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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