I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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