hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
