3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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