Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
