i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
