Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
