In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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