I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
