That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
