i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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