You really coming over, don't trick.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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