Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
honey bunches of taint.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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