The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
