Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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