My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
