I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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