I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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