maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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