Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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