She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
