is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
