Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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