The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
